Wednesday, November 2, 2011

One Year Ago....

It was one year ago today that my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  I can't believe it's only been a year.  This is truly the longest year of my life.  It seems like a lifetime ago that we got this news and that I watched this wonderful man fade away.  I still haven't had one tear free day yet.  I hope that will come soon.  I want to be able to talk about him and not cry.  The pain is so intense at times and other times it's there, but bearable.
My 18th wedding anniversary is this Sunday, I can still remember my wedding day and my Dad telling me dirty jokes right before we walked into the church.  He was so cute!  I didn't dance with him to Daddy's Little Girl, instead I danced with him to Wind Beneath my Wings.  He really is the angel in my life.  I miss him so much.  I still find myself picking up the phone to call him, I dial the number and just before I hit the last one, I remember, he's not there.  He'll never pick up the phone again.
I just want the hurt to go away.  I want him here.  I feel so lonely, I just want one more day with him. 


  1. Oh Lisa, I am so sorry. Cancer is just about the ugliest word I know. I lost my Daddy to this horrific disease almost 5 years ago, so I can understand how you feel. You made me smile when you said your Daddy told you dirty jokes at your wedding. 31 years ago, as the wedding director told my Dad to start walking me down the aisle, he turned to me and said...want to hear a Pollack joke? (not politically correct, I know) I would like to tell you it gets easier with time, and I guess it does...somewhat. I still think of him daily and miss him terribly, but I smile about him more now than I cry about him. I pray that you will one day reach that point. It takes time dear. Don't let anyone rush you or make you feel bad about it...take your time. You'll get there. Hugs to you.

  2. Thanks Tanya! I'll take all the prayers I can get! :)

  3. HUGS Lisa!! Sooooo sorry to hear about your Dad... your post made me cry. I just wish I could squeeze through the computer and give you a big hug. Hang in there girl! Like Tanya said above... it does seem to get a little easier with time. Sending thoughts and prayers your way!!