I think I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I am doing my very best to do what people have asked of me. I have been respectful of time, and space, and feelings. I have apologized, I have held my tongue, I have stayed away and allowed them to move on. It has been so hard and I am sad, but then when I get asked why, I tell them I am respecting their wishes and still that's not right. I miss my life the way it was, and after a year of a shattered heart, lost friends and losing the one person who believed in me always, my Dad, I still can't seem to get anything right. What more am I supposed to do? I've said it before, I just want my life back. I want my Dad here, I want to be able hug him and call him and know that no matter what else is messed up in my life, he will be there, he will love me. I want to express my opinion and not have it literally affect how my family will live or even be loved. Apparently I cannot voice my opinion, have any feelings, or speak out when I have questions because it's not allowed. Life should not be so hard. I do the very best I can everyday. I mess up all the time. I try to learn from it, I try to do better next time. I am not responsible for everything that is wrong is every situation. I am not to blame for it all...
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